Monthly Archives: September 2009


Searching for the beacon of light

A sea of people around me all looking for something

Is it the beacon?

Innately knowing it is greater than I

How can I find it? With my senses? With my mind? With my heart?

I notice some people hailing they have found it

I run towards them only to see them clinging to an idol

I tell them that the idol is a non-living object how it can lead me if it can’t lead itself!

They push me away; forget them for they have not found anything

I keep searching, I know it is there!

Lead me to the path oh Great one! Lead me for I am lost with You

I pass many people all claiming they have found the one who will lead them

I knew they were all wrong, I knew what I was searching for

It seems like I have walked past the people, past the noise, past the confusion

It is all dark now but I’m not afraid

I know something will appear

There it is! I see the light! It has been calling me in the right direction all along

Suddenly people surround me and welcoming me in their midst and congratulate me for passing the numerous tests in my path

Engulfed by the light in front of us we walk towards it…

اللَّهُ نُورُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ مَثَلُ نُورِهِ كَمِشْكَاةٍ فِيهَا مِصْبَاحٌ الْمِصْبَاحُ فِي زُجَاجَةٍ الزُّجَاجَةُ كَأَنَّهَا كَوْكَبٌ دُرِّيٌّ يُوقَدُ مِن شَجَرَةٍ مُّبَارَكَةٍ زَيْتُونِةٍ لَّا شَرْقِيَّةٍ وَلَا غَرْبِيَّةٍ يَكَادُ زَيْتُهَا يُضِيءُ وَلَوْ لَمْ تَمْسَسْهُ نَارٌ نُّورٌ عَلَى نُورٍ يَهْدِي اللَّهُ لِنُورِهِ مَن يَشَاء وَيَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الْأَمْثَالَ لِلنَّاسِ وَاللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ

24:35 (Y. Ali) Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The Parable of His Light is as if there were a Niche and within it a Lamp: the Lamp enclosed in Glass: the glass as it were a brilliant star: Lit from a blessed Tree, an Olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is well-nigh luminous, though fire scarce touched it: Light upon Light! Allah doth guide whom He will to His Light: Allah doth set forth Parables for men: and Allah doth know all things.


The adventures of Koki, the parrot-episode 2


Persistence is the name of the game

Koki doesn’t know the meaning of “to quit”. I doubt she even knows such a concept. When she puts her mind to something she will reach it even if it takes an hour, a day, or a week. Koki will get what she wants and she has methods to attain her object of desire, be it food, a lift, or an outing.

Koki gives two options, the easy way or the hard way, but there is no option out of giving her what she wants. First, being nice is the way to go sometimes with a soft whistle, a song using whistles, saying our names in an endearing way “Ya Ranaaaaa”, and acknowledging herself “ana Koki (I’m Koki)”. Yet, being a crafty bird she can be more sly by showing love to us by saying “shu bihibkun (how much I love you/plural) or “shu bihibek (how much I love you/singular) {these are taught by my sister who showers Koki with love only she uses them to her advantage!) and offering her head to be petted.

If all the niceness is not working what is a bird to do?! Come on, she tried everything from tricks to love so why isn’t anyone listening to her?! In her mind we unleashed what follows on ourselves and she is not to blame.

The shouting and annoying behavior begins! “YA RANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”, “YA ZEINAB!” “TA3I KHIDEEHA! (Come take her!)”. All the high pinched sounds that make our ears ring for a long period of time are said in a few minutes until she makes us mad enough to shout back at her “Shu badek?! (what do you want?!) so she proceeds: by making the sound of opening a juice bottle or says “tushrabi mayy? (drink water?)” to get juice or water, by going back and forth with her head in the direction she wants to go, or by going up and down while fluttering her wings indicating she wants us to get up and get her out of the cage. As you have guessed our compliance is the best way to keep her quiet!

After she gets want she wants we have to be careful because she might administer punishment, yes punishment! Depending if we did her bidding quickly enough we usually get a pinch (or should I say bite) from her beak if we are anywhere near her. The pinch differs in intensity with the level of crimes on our part.

Her wants have to be met or else! 😀

Next episode: Koki’s obsession with show boxes.

They say happiness is a state of mind

It comes from within

It is not acquired through collection of items

It is a state of satisfaction and acceptance of the past, present and the future

It is a state of tranquility and peacefulness

It is said if you surpass your fears and desires happiness is a stone’s throw away

Is it really just a state of mind?

So If I achieve the above then I have pursued happiness and reached it?

I‘m not a pessimist but I’m not the type of person to accept quotes and sayings that are supposed to be life changing. Books or shows that talk about helping  you change your life for the better have no interest to me not because I don’t believe in pursuing happiness but I wonder how other humans have come up with the recipe to it. Doctors, actors, and psychologists that talk endlessly about accepting loss and moving on, living each day on its own (etc.) and some people may find that helpful but I have very little faith in the ability of another human who just like me is limited in thought and knowledge no matter how many degrees he/she can lead me to this road.

HaveI reached it? No, I believe true happiness can’t be attained in this life because there are too many stresses, too many worries, and too many things to be done. Happiness may differ from one person to the next and mine is attaining peace of mind, for one moment not to worry about something, not to plan, and not to face hard things every minute. In this life we may be able to reach moments of happiness as we define it but not a life time of it. According to my belief, true happiness is only accomplished in the afterlife where the constant struggle of life is eliminated if the Mercy of our Creator encompasses us and we enter heaven.

I will not give up on trying to gain moments of happiness but I have no doubt that I will not have a life of it and I accept that heart and soul.

Eid outing

I haven’t had an outing with my whole family since the last eid al adha, so quite a while though I haven’t realized that much time has passed. I had this silly bubbly feeling, kept imagining myself hopping and twirling down the street! I didn’t do it, simply not that kind of person that’s why my mind does it for me 😆 My mind seems to have a personality of its own other than my behavioral actions.

We went to this restaurant that serves tex mex kind of food (basically close to Mexican), alhamdulilah it was yummy and quite spicy. I was glad that I wasn’t over stuffed with the food since I ordered whole wheat grilled chicken sandwich with avocado chucks in it with other vegetables but my brother wanted milkshakes and got us the large size ones. Who throws a milkshake?! So I had to down it all and ended up being stuffed :X When I got back home I realized what was bothering me when we were at the mall where the restaurant is, too many sounds! Gosh alhamdulilah for the peace and quiet at home.

Hope you had (will have) a wonderful eid day! 😀

Happiness and sadness do connect

How is this possible?

It is at the end of a special month that these two concepts even though contradictory they do meet from time to time. Muslims feel dismayed at the end of Ramadan, the blessed month of mercy for the sense of tranquility and peacefulness lessens and you feel it is slipping away from you as its days go by. It is like a very dear relative or friend that you haven’t seen for a long time and needs to go. Though even at its end you may be unhappy that it needs to go you are happy it came and you celebrate it. This is when happiness cuts it way through Eid. Naturally, Eid is the most joyous for children: going out to play, fireworks, playgrounds, amusement parks, lots and lots of sweets, and ehm some money from parents and relatives 😀 No I don’t want to return to childhood (O_O) but they are happy, warm memories that flare up at this time of year. So may Allah SWT accept all your good deeds during this month and may we live through various more Ramadans, ameen.

Eib fitr Mubarak!!!